What to Talk About When You Don’t Know What to Talk About
When people begin therapy, there can often be a surge of energy and excitement. Week after week, it feels as though there is never quite enough time in the 50 minute session to cover the seemingly endless topics and thoughts that arise.
But sooner or later, there comes a point in therapy when you may show up to session with nothing in particular that you care to talk about. While you may be tempted to cancel the session or fear that it will be a waste of time, I have found that some of the most meaningful sessions can actually arise when clients come in unsure of what to talk about in therapy.
Below, I have outlined some of the possible paths to take when you find yourself in this situation.
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Perhaps the reason you find yourself unsure of what to talk about that week is because the week was actually quite pleasant. Great news! While therapy is certainly the place to process difficult experiences, talking about the positive can be surprisingly fruitful.
What made it such a good week? Is there anything you did differently this week that contributed to the positive feeling? And if so, how can we incorporate some of these changes so that more of your weeks feel positive?
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If there is nothing pressing that week, this can be an excellent opportunity to review how therapy is going.
Do you feel you are making progress towards your goals? Are sessions feeling supportive and helpful? Perhaps it is even time to set some new goals for therapy.
This can also be a good opportunity to give your therapist some feedback to make sure they are best able to support you.
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This can be a perfect time to delve a little deeper into your creative side and what speaks to you.
If there is a piece of music, movie, book, TV show, or even a dream you recently had that impacted you, I definitely encourage you to explore this with your therapist.
What does this piece of art mean to you? Does it trigger certain memories or emotions? You may be surprised by what emerges from these conversations.
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Have you ever started delving into a particularly rich topic or memory only to realize you have 5 minutes left in the session? You and your therapist may have agreed to “put a pin in it” and revisit it in the future.
Sessions where you have less urgent material to talk about can be the ideal time to return to topics or themes from previous sessions.
If you have trouble remembering what you have previously discussed, definitely ask your therapist if they have any ideas of topics to revisit.
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Most people have certain topics, relationships, or areas of their life that they focus on in therapy. This could be related to what originally brought you to therapy or it could be what you naturally gravitate towards.
If that area of your life is feeling relatively stable, this could be the time to explore the parts of you that typically get neglected during the therapy hour.
For example, if you usually focus on your romantic relationships during therapy, this could be a session where you switch gears and explore your career goals, family history, questions around identity, or that one childhood memory that continues to haunt you.
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Your therapist is there to help.
If you find that you’re unsure how to use the session time, you can always ask if they have some ideas.
Perhaps they have a theme they are noticing in your work together or even an activity to try, but they should be able to help jump start the session.
I hope that this list has been helpful and serves as a jumping off point when you find yourself in a therapy lull. Next time you don’t know what to talk about in therapy, I encourage you to show up and explore with an open mind. You never know what you might uncover.
